The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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