Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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