Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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