worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
