Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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