i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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