I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
