I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
