guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Panties = found
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