he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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