Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
