Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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