need another drink. this is the easiest way
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
