No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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