I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
