Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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