We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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