omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
