yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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