When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
