Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
