So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
