I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just puked most of my soul out..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
