Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
