Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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