Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
