Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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