We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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