i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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