You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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