Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
