next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
