btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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