we're blogging at a bar
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
