Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
