you told grandpa to call you daddy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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