just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
