One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
