"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
