I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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