the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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