Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
