i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I am one with the molecules
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize