Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
