i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
