She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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