Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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