Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
