no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
