She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
