Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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