I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
