direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
