I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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