she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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