Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize