So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
