when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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