I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
