After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
