You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
