Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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