So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize