That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
