just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
