I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
