..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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