i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
