Will you blow on my dice?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
