tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
handjob tips. give me some.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
