i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
