remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
