i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
