I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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