Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
