Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
