so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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