Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
